Free As A Bird
by Gloredhel
Summary: A Danny story, as requested! Some familiarity with other stories i've done, and very good if i do say so myself! please, R&R!


DISCLAIMER: the usual schpiel, i only own the ones you know i own! The title is a Lynyrd Skynyrd song   
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: why doesn't anybody review my stories?? *sniffle* i'll keep writing them anyway, for the few who may still be enjoying them. heck, i'll do it for myself if it comes down to that ;) well, this is Danny's POV. I'm thinking about doing it in a few chapters this time. I'm gonna start it on him remembering childhood, and yes Susie will be there. i'm sorry for those who hate the whole sister thing but i can't get rid of her now and personally, i like her! she's different! and in response to Huntres Minerva (you're the best! i really want to thank you for reviewing my work and being honest with me, *MWA*), my grampa's a ww2 vet and he always tells me about his childhood, so i pulled some details from there. according to h im, most every boy from small southern towns smoked in highschool, and seeing as how josh smokes in real life, i figured i'd throw it in! well, i'm rambling on a bit now, so enjoy! and REVIEW! PLEEEEEEASE!!!! I'M BEGGING!  
  
  
  
Free As A Bird  
  
  
...Laying here cold makes you put things in perspective. I miss everything already- all my memories from childhood, all the lost days of swimming in the lake and running through the fields; my first kiss, my first drunken night. Gawd, it all seems to have gone by so damned fast! I wish I could just close my eyes and be there again...close my eyes and regain all that I've lost, all the people I've misgiven, and all the times I've nearly forgotten...  
  
  
"Rafe! We got Japs on our tail!" I yelled, swinging my ten year old head around and screaming at my buddy Rafe, who was sitting in the back of our make-shift plane.  
"You want me to take care of 'em??" he yelled back.  
"No it's too late! Bail out! Bail out! Save yourself!!"  
We jumped out of the crates and onto the hay-ridden floor of the McCawley barn, running out into the burning heat of the sun. August was the always the hottest month of the year in Tennessee, and we were smack dab in the middle of it.  
"Geez-us, Rafe, I'm thirsty as hell!" I gasped, falling on the grass in front of his house as he stood over me, laughing.  
"You're just a wuss Walker," he grinned. "Bet the troops didn't complain 'bout bein thirsty when they was shootin down those Germans!"  
Now if there was one thing I couldn't stand, it was bein' called a wuss.  
"That's it! You're dead!!" I laughed, jumping up and tackoing him as he tried to escape up the porch steps. As we laughed and tried to beat the tar out of one another, the screen door screeched open and Rafe's little sister Susie stepped out.  
"Mama says the lemonade's ready, so's if you want me to bring any out, tell me now," she prompted, with an obvious pout. Poor thing was grounded--couldn't go past the porch steps for three days on account of she broke Mrs. McCawley's favorite vase when Rafe was wrestlin' with her one morning.  
"Ah Suze, calm down. You got one more day left, not counting today," Rafe smiled, generally sorry for the girl.  
"Yea," I added, smirking at Rafe. "But since you offered, bring on the lemonade!"  
"Alright, but I'm gonna drink it with you--I might as well be as far away from the inside of this house as I can get." Suze turned and left, going to fetch the ice cold pitcher that I so longed for. She wasn't nothin' special back then- just a mass of brown hair, hazel eyes, and freckles all piled into a little girl who wanted to do whatever Rafe, her hero, did. But boy, things managed to change within a few years.   
"Here goes," she called, as Rafe jumped up and pulled the door open for her. Sitting down on the wicker chair, Susie set the tray holding the cups and pitcher down on the porch table and told us to sit down and give her some good conversation.  
"What am I missing?" she asked as Rafe ran inside to use the bathroom.  
"Nothin'," I responded, sipping the ice cold drink. "Just Rafe callin' me a wuss again."  
"Ahh, you're not a wuss. Look who's talkin'!"  
"You can't be seriously implyin' that you think your brother's a-a-"  
"Well he can be! He let me take the fall for the vase!"   
She was always the same, takin' the heat for anythin that Rafe did, and then wishing later on that she had full out told her parents the truth.   
"Alright, you got me there," I laughed, nearly spiling my cup.  
"Well in any case, don't let him intimidate you," she said, standing up and folding her thin little arms. "You know I don't think you're so much of a wuss Walker." Quickly, she darted inside and up the stairs to assist her mother who had beckoned her to her room.  
Rafe ran back downstairs and flopped down on the chair next to me. He was so sure o fhimself, even then. I mean, Rafe had most everything. He had family, he had looks-- already he was gettin' all the girls. And we were only ten! I didn't want to deal with them yet, but he sure seemed willing. I was worried about losing him to a girl one day, but I knew somethin' like that could never happen.  
"When we're in the force, do you think we'll be the best in our squad?" he asked, stirring his lemonade with his finger and staring absentmindedly into the setting sun.  
"Well you'll be," I answered, with a hint of envy that I'd meant to leave out.  
"Danny, you know you're just as good as me."  
"Yea, but Rafe I ain't got the confidence that you got. If you can't carry yourself right, then they ain't gonna respect you so much."  
"I don't carry myself any different than you do."  
"Yea ya do, maybe you don't notice it so much, but I can see it. You make more friends, you've had more girlfriends than i can count on both hands, and me--i got you and Susie and that's 'bout it."  
"You can read better'an me."  
"Oh, there's a compliment."  
"Well, fact of the matter is, when we're flyin' together for the US we'll be the same. Land of the free, Danny..." He punched my soldier and began to dart off.  
"Home of the brave," I yelled back, chasing him off into the fields.  
  
  
...Things would change pretty soon. Highschool came sooner than we thought, and I found myself intrigued my Rafe's little sister. I mean, younger by one year isn't bad at all, and she was special to me. Can't explain it really, but I was infatuated. And Rafe, he ended up with a few more girls but it all died down around the end of sophmore year, while I was comin' to terms with my feelings for Suze...  
  
  
  
  
...Highschool had confused me a bit--everythin' was much bigger and much busier. Things got rushed around and Rafe, the star pitcher of our baseball team, was always busy. I found myself with nothin' to do, and quite often Susie was the only one who was there for me. It wasn't Rafe's fault-- he was still my best friend and we hung out whenever he didn't have practice or a game, but maybe it was for the better. Often we just hung out in her room, talking randomly and sometimes even just sleepin'. They were good days...  
  
  
"So I'm confused," Suze proclaimed, flipping over onto her stomach and lookin down at me from her bed. "If you like readin', then why don't you like english class?" Her eyes creased as she focused her gaze on me. God, she looked pretty like that.  
"Well," I responded, sprawled out on the floor across from her, "In class they force ya to read books you don't even like, and what's the point of that? I like enjoyin' the stuff. Why should I be forced into it?"  
Sighing, she smiled at me and nodded.  
"I see your point," she said wholeheartedly, dropping her head down on the comforter. "I think your voice changed, Walker."  
"Really?" I asked, noticing the change myself. "Is that good or bad?"  
"I think it's good- it's nice and deep now. It's sexy." She winked, feigning bombshell lustfullness. For a second I thought she meant it, and I was ready to scoop her up and tell her everything that I felt for her.  
"Danny?" she asked quietly, looking up at me again.  
"Yup?"  
"Have I changed at all? I mean in the past few years? Cuz I don't feel like I'm the same, but I don't really know."  
"'Course you've changed, Suze."  
"Yea, but how?"  
"You...well, you look different for starters. You're taller, you're older, you're more mature, you're pretty," I looked away, worried I had given everything away. "I mean, of course you've changed. And I think it's a good change, so don't you worry."  
"Thanks," she said shyly, looking away but smiling. That gave me hope above all else. Once again, she putting her head down on the mattress and shutting her eyes.  
"What are you thinkin' about?" I asked, sitting up and hugging my knees. We always talked about stuff like this, anything that came to mind.  
"How damned lonely it is around here. There's no girls worth talking to at school. No guys either."  
"I'm insulted, Suze." I moved towards her bed, sitting next her and resting my arm and chin on the edge, looking at her. She was still lying there with her eyes shut, her hair soft and shiny, falling over her face.  
"You know I don't mean you, Danny Boy. You and Rafe, you two are alright."   
Suddenly she opened her eyes and was surprised to see me so close-- she hadn't detected my move and found herself toppling off the bed with a squeal. Before I could stop her, she had landed on top of me and was laughing harder than ever.  
"You gave me a scare!" she yelped, hitting him in the arm. "You're gonna pay Walker!"  
"Oh really?" I grinned, holding her arms by the wrists as she struggled, laughing, to punch me.  
I took both wrists in one hand and tickled her side with the other, knowing full well that this, to her, was torture.  
"Damn you!!" she cried out hysterically, kicking me square in the place where the sun don't shine.  
"Oh...gawd..." I moaned, falling flat on the floor and clutching my lower stomach.  
"Oh crap!" Susie exclaimed, dropping down next to me, concern in her eyes. "I'm so sorry Danny! Really, I didn't mean to do that, I was just tryin' to get away..."  
She pulled me up so that I was sittin' against the side of her bed and she sat next to me, nervously lookin' at me to see if I was really okay. Things like this made me appreciate her company even more. She really cared about me and, although she joked about things, I knew there was somethin' between us already. I looked out the window at the stars and sighed.   
Her voice, almost a whisper, brought me back to reality.  
"It's pretty out there, isn't it?"  
"Incredibly. Sometimes I sleep on my porch just so I can look at the sky all night."  
"You're a real poet, Danny. I like that."  
Bringing my hand up to brush my hair out of my eyes, my arm accidently brush hers and I saw the goosebumps rise on her flesh. This was a positive turn of events, and I was overjoyed. Maybe things would finally go my way this time.  
"Ahh Suze," I mumbled, pulling her to me with my arm around her shoulder, "We must be pretty damned pathetic, to spend every fuckin night this way."  
"Personally," She responded quietly, resting her head on my shoulder and shutting her eyes, "I kinda enjoy it..."  
She drifted off to sleep as we sat there, and I eventually picked her up and put her on her bed, kissing her lightly on the forehead- i couldn't help myself. Shutting off the light as I closed the door, I greeted Rafe, who had just come home from a game against our rivals.  
"Another win?" I asked, slappin' him five as we sat down on his worn-out couch with a couple of beers.  
"But of course, Danny, but of course," Rafe winked as we knocked the bottles together in a cheers.  
"I think I might be interested in someone," I stammered, not wanting to make him angry.  
"Finally! Who?"  
"I can't say anything just yet...but I'm sure you'd approve..."  
Rafe just smiled and assumed it was some random girl from school. I knew differently, and I also knew that if he didn't approve--things would never be able to progress between me and Susie.  
  
  
...It was the fourth of July when I finally decided to make my move. The three of us would hang out on most summer nights at Stanley Drive, an old dirt road leading to nowhere. It was really pretty around there, with a creek and lots of trees, and an open view of the starlit sky. Perfect atmosphere for a confession of, well, love. Rafe, as usual, got drunk and basically left to stumble around elsewhere, leaving Susie and I alone by the creek. We talked about the sky for awhile, she was scare dof it at the same time as she was in awe of it. I felt the same way about her...  
  
  
She looked beautiful, gazing up at the stars, her hair falling behind her head as a pillow. It was now or never.  
"You know, I've been thinking lately," I began, trying unsuccesfully to sound confident.  
"So I'm not the only one, huh?" She laughed. Her sarcasm scared me a bit-- I wanted her to know I was serious.  
"No seriously, Susie, I've really been thinking. About things...and how they change...a lot..." I reached for her shoulder and squeezed it, feeling her relax at my touch.  
"This feels right. This--being here, with you. It always has felt right to me. I've loved you forever, but never like this. You were always one of my closest friends, you and Rafe have been the best...but now it's more. I feel like we connect and I'm sorry if I'm scaring you but dammit I need to know if you feel the same about me. Things have been gettin' different Susie, and I can't help it anymore. I'm fallin for you. I'm sorry."  
"Why are you apologizing?" she asked me quietly.  
"'Cause I shouldn't be tellin' you this, puttin' you through this. You deserve better 'en me. I know that. You should want better, too."  
"I know what I want, Danny."  
"And what's that Suze?"  
"I want you to hold my hand, like you said you would," she whispered referring to a promise I'd made, that I would hold her hand should she ever got scared, and make her feel less worried.  
I took her hand and held it tight, raising it to my lips and kissing it gently. She responded like I'd never dared to hope she would, sweetly and with a need. I held her body to mine and lay there, cradlin her face in my neck, feeling her breath on me. It was warm and moist, and I knew she felt my breaths on her ear as well.  
"Danny?" she whispered.  
"Yea?" I responded nervously, hoping that she would say something to soothe my rattled nerves.  
"Lemme see your face?"  
I pulled my head away from her shoulder and looked her square in the eyes. The lamp we had brought with us illuminated her glowing brown eyes, and the soft curves of her lipes and she gazed at me with lust and longing. Slowly, she ran her lips over my face. I couldn't help myself any longer, and my body shuddred with passion as I gripped her tiny body to mine and met her gaze. Before I knew it, she had kissed me.  
It was short, but seemed to last an eternity. I felt my heart explode with joy as she kissed me deeply and solidly, assuring me that my love was not unrequited. I'd never been so happy in my life as I was then, and I don't think I've ever felt that way again since.  
"Guys!" Rafe yelled from some point on the street, "I'm just gonna go sleep down the street by the big tree...thingy...big...thing...ahhhhhhh, you know what I'm talkin 'bout..." and off he went.   
She kissed me again.  
"You sure you want this Suze?" I asked, hoping with all my heart that she did..  
"More sure than I've been about anything else in my life, "she sighed gently as I kissed her and felt her delicate hands begin to pull off my shirt.  
  
  
...That night was beautiful, and was the beginning of something bigger than we had ever expected. I loved that girl with everything in me, and felt that as long as I had her and Rafe, nothing could or ever would go wrong for any of us. Life was good from then on, and at long last, I had found a joy in my life that seemed undying...  
  
  
...To Be Continued...  
  
P.S. Do you guys like this? I know the end was similar to Fly Away From Here, but it was to establish Danny's POV on what happened. I reall ylike writing from his point of view, and if you guys like it, review it and tell me and i'll continue before I leave for Maine on Saturday! xox DANA xox 


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